lonelymountainson:

tsundereforcoffee:

captainsnoop:

how the human brain works:

electricity tickles the meat so that different slimes come out. sometimes the slime feels good sometimes bad. some people make more bad slime than good slime. that’s called clinical depression.

my biology textbook said it was more like a sauce

What is a sauce but slime with a purpose?

puublack:

That Guy™ in the class: So let me get one thing straight…

Everyone else, including the teacher:

peashooter85:

Megan

—Honor roll student

— 2 years babysitting and childcare experience

— 1st chair clarinet player

— Wants to go to college to be a pediatrician

Sandy

—Star high school Athlete

—Plays Volleyball and Basketball

—Recommended by neighbors

—Gold Award Girl Scout

Rasputin

—Claims to be able to heal diseases and predict the future with magic powers.

— Immune to poison and resistant to bullets

— Favorite pastimes include orgies and alcoholism

— Might have sex with your wife