Aries. Death obsessed. You are always thinking about your own death and the death of those closest to you. It’s creepy but actually completely normal for your sign since you’re one of the death signs.
Taurus. You are a stalker. You are most likely to know exactly what your ex is doing post breakup due to extreme lurking. You have mastered the art of social media stalking and real life sitting-outside-your-apartment stalking.
Gemini. You are a liar. You should be a writer because man can you weave a vivid tale. The worse part is that you always think that you’re telling the truth or some version of the truth– you can’t help you are two faced in your nature.
Cancer. You are obsessive. When it comes to relationships you have to remind yourself not to get carried away. It’s in your nature to nurture, but your obsessions with your partner are not only creepy but make your partner feel suffocated.
Leo. You want to be loved and admired so much, and you don’t care who gets in the way. You are always looking out for your number one: yourself. The things you will do for the sake of attention are frightening.
Virgo. You have secret bizarre sexual fetishes that live in the back of your mind. Unfortunately, that’s generally where they stay due to the shy nature of the Virgo. However, there’s an inner freak that envisions some pretty kinky stuff and one day you just might bring it out.
Libra. You are most likely to have an aching curiosity about all things creepy; it led you to click on that article and watch that documentary. You have seen some shit thanks to the internet and your overwhelming desire to know the why, who and when of every disturbing thing you read or see.
Scorpio. You can get super dark. In fact, you are the darkest sign in the zodiac. Dark thoughts pop into your head pretty easily: thoughts of murder and scenarios of violence ensuing. You can’t help but think about how at any moment you could choose to be a murderer or start a fire or drop a baby.
Sagittarius. You can be cold hearted. You have run so far away from your feelings that you have turned to stone. You often feel numb in instances where you should be feeling extreme happiness or sadness. What are tears?
Capricorn. You fantasize about murder, specifically murdering those closest to you. You fantasize about murdering your sister when she’s being annoying or your co-worker who won’t shut up. It’s a twisted game you play in your head.
Aquarius. You think about what you’ll say at your friends’ and family’s funerals. You are thinking of lovely things to say, but the creepy part is how often you think about it. You are a thinker and sometimes your mind wanders to vast scenarios, even the darker ones.
Pisces. In every horrible awful scenario your head thinks of, like someone shooting up the store you’re in or your apartment building being set on fire by a madman, you are always the hero. You swoop in and stop the attacker. You think you have to save everyone, so you think of all the horrible situations in which you’d have to step up and save the day.
aries: the definition of a fuckboy but they actually have a soul. literally don’t give two shits about the haters and are some of the most loyal friends i’ve ever encountered. have very sudden growth periods. super dedicated to anything they put their mind to. ALSO OH MY GOD SO GOOD WITH THE TONGUE
taurus: very eccentric, don’t really know how to deal with emotions. get flustered easily but it’s kinda cute. dreamy demeanor. will ignore the hell out of u if u fuck them over. are lowkey terrified of everything but will probs never admit that as they have some weird element of ego tied into that.
gemini: really chill people when u get to know them but will scare the shit out of u for like six years if u don’t approach them. do not fucking piss them off as they will butcher yo ass with their tongue and hang u up for the rest of the world to see. probably has daddy issues. writers. really physically attractive and everybody is intimidated as fuck by it. dumb as hell in terms of love and will flirt with you incessantly. REALLY FUCKIN GOOD WITH THEIR HANDS LIKE DAMN.
cancer: big hearts. fuckin adorable little water signs that are likely drowning in a puddle of their own tears. do not know how to fucking flirt to save their lives. their laughs are kooky as hell and i love it. probably smoke weed. u either love ‘em or want to kill them or are in some poorly balanced inbetween.
leo: okay y’all needa settle down a bit. fragile fuckin egos if i’ve ever seen ‘em and react hardcore if u piss them off. pretty over the top with everything. but damn, are some of the most hopelessly romantic motherfuckers i’ve met. will treat you like a fucking god(dess) if u let them. not super good at social cues tbh. good friends to have if u need to be validated. need quality time.
virgo: y’all are lowkey hoes and give no fucks about it and it’s fucking great omfg. despite that, they maintain an endearing innocence and can be childish af when things don’t go their way but will love u until the end of time. great taste in music. super fucking smart but don’t show it off too often.
libra: jesus christ okay i love u guys. super understanding and will always try to see all sides of a situation. probably have been through a lot. aren’t afraid to call u on ur shit and are lowkey emotional shawtys that are still trying to find themselves. make really wonderful parents. get crazy excited over little shit and it’s fucking adorable.
scorpio: don’t fuck with these hoes unless u know urself first. will expose the parts of urself that u didn’t want to see. super gnarly in fights and will love u until the end of time. pretty standoffish and need time alone when emotionally unstable. keep themselves in amazing shape. are the loneliest fucks i know; be kind to them always. are probably in great shape (physically.)
sagittarius: craziest mofos out there. abandon all emotions before going into a situation and can be super impulsive. funny as fuck and always seem to be on another level. push themselves to the limit and usually forget to give themselves a break. ambitious and can get shit done when they need to.
capricorn: talk about a ride or die. y’all are loyal to the grave and are incredible friends. until u get fucked over. will probably make ur enemies’ life a living hell, sometimes over-the-top about it. can be v athletic. good writers/artists. really interested in spirituality and the ethereal realms. u guys know what to do in bed and flirt hard af. also so fucking funny oh my god.
aquarius: amazing friends. probably hate u. easily excitable. space cadets 4 life. rly good with animals and love food but probably restrict their eating habits in one way or another. a paradox in that they are fucking driven as hell to get shit done but give zero fucks at the same time. lowkey kinky af. want to kiss everyone.
pisces: emotional shawtys through and through. physically attractive as hell. not good at romantic relationships. won’t forget about u for a million years. keep their friends close but will push u the fuck away if they get scared. insecure and just want u to stick around.
I May or May Not be Steve Rogers 