paper-mario-wiki:

dont get why teeth need nerves and shit in em. dont know why i cant just have my mouth rocks obliterate my food without them making me feel like there are wasps inside my gums desperately trying to get out every time i eat something with more than a teaspoon of sugar or anything 10 degrees above or below room tempurature

omgthatdress:

Kendall Jenner looks like a roll of toilet paper.

bodynegative:

Sdghghsldghwhgoghenksdglskjdg

writing smut like

thisiswhymomworries:

3tno:

thisiswhymomworries:

how many synonyms for “penis” do I actually know?

and how many of those synonyms am I actually willing to use

tier 1 (most accepted, considered sexy): cock, dick, erection

tier 2 (generally accepted): arousal, length, manhood, member, shaft

tier 3 (clinical, too formal, but not cheesy): groin, penis, phallus

tier 4 (cheesy, barely acceptable): [insert name] Jr., dong, junk, knob, prick, rod, tool, wand, wood

tier 5 (ridiculous, unacceptable, pls don’t): anything to do with beer cans, baby-maker, bishop, choad, donger, dragon, fuck wand, fun stick, hog, johnson, jimmy, lap rocket, little [insert name], love muscle/rod/stick, meat stick, one-eyed [anything], piston, private eye, schlong, trouser snake, wiener, winkie

tier 6 (you’re literally a fourth grader): baby arm, baloney pony, beaver basher, beef whistle, custard launcher, dude piston, flesh flute, heat-seeking moisture missile, krull the warrior king, luigi, mayo shooting hotdog gun, meter long king kong dong, pig skin bus, piss weasle, purple-headed yogurt flinger, purple-helmeted warrior of love, schlong dongadoodle, single barreled pump action bollock, spawn hammer, steamin’ semen truck, tan banana, thundersword, wang doodle, whoopie stick, wing wang doodle, yogurt shotgun

ahzoka:

me: i mean i don’t really care what other people think of star wars characters’ sexualities like. w/e, u know? different interpretations are chill

some homophobe: but none of the star wars characters are gay there cannot be gay characters in star wars star wars does not have a single gay char

me:

oakydokey:

honeygoblin:

Little is known about the origins of this practice, although there is some unfounded speculation that it is loosely derived from or perhaps inspired by ancient Aegean notions about bees’ ability to bridge the natural world with the afterlife.

#me shoving my head into a beehive: yall would not fuckin BELIEVE the day i’ve had

thottavius-rex:

dontbeanassbutt:

dontbeanassbutt:

hey y’all should go retweet my most recent tweet cause I want chris evans to see it lmao I’m @yakeiluj

this tweet go retweet it

weheartchrisevans:

“Five of the original six Avengers got a tattoo. And the sixth was the tattoo artist, who gave it to five of us, the one who opted out being Mark Ruffalo. It was Scarlett Johansson’s idea, and she and Chris Evans did it in New York. Then, their New York guy, Josh Lord, who is amazing, flew out to LA, he did me, did Jeremy Renner, and then we just bullied Chris Hemsworth into doing it, and he got it. And each one of us drew a line on the artist with his own tattoo gun and it was a total massacre. Each of us contributed to giving the tattoo artist the sixth tattoo that he designed for us. By the way, he’s got another one on him that Scarlett did, which is beautiful, which is crazy, because the line she drew on him, which was just supposed to be a straight line, looked like a lightning bolt. It was a mess.” – Robert Downey Jr. (x)