12+ hours: hell yes. decadence has a name and it is ME. the dream. im marrying my bed you’re invited to the wedding. i might feel groggy and angry for the rest of the day when i actually do get up but WORTH IT.
12+ hours (ALTERNATE): i am deeply clinically depressed and approximately three (3) inches from death at any given moment
11-10 hours: ideal. im functioning at perfect 100% capacity my body and mind are a well oiled machine. im ready to knock out all my errands and chores in under an hour, work a full day and then study that language im trying to learn
9 hours: good! i could have slept longer, but getting up was no great horrifying trauma either
8-7 hours: the “””””medically recommended amount””””” for adults, but in reality more like a “fine, i GUESS” amount. normal mild levels of angst at having to get out of bed
6 hours: silent unceasing internal groaning for at least the first hour after waking. dont expect any kind of quality conversation for the first 2 or so hours. ive got a Less Than Medically Recommended Amount Of Sleep, that means im a martyr right???
5 hours: pretty unpleasant. feels gross. expect a moderate crash during the late afternoon. this is the first number that is considered worthy of entry in a college student sleep-measuring contest. altho if you try to enter with 5 hrs dead-eyed hordes will instantly materialize from the bushes and one-up you “5 hours??? HAHA SWEET SUMMER CHILD. I HAVENT SLEPT IN 3 YEARS”
4 hours: a Very Poor Decision. deep seated, incoherent rage upon waking that persists up to several hours. consume large amounts of your stimulant of choice, but you’ll still feel like a cave troll. constant aftertaste of chemicals and regret
3 hours: half awake half walking in some astral plane haunted by the wails of the newly-dead. children and animals fear the emptiness in your vacant eyes. a very respectable entry to any sleep-measuring contest. you’ll still get beaten by the “2 hour” and “all nighter” people, but everyone knows this is Bad
2 hours: you can get up, but only by rending your soul from your physical body in a paroxysm of agony, since it will refuse to leave the bed. you are now soulless and will feel absolutely zero emotion until sometime in the late afternoon/early evening when your soul returns and ALL the emotions will hit at once, leaving you alternately sobbing or creepily hyena laughing
1 hour: you fool. you imbecile. your hubris and weakness has brought you to this point. they are coming. you cannot escape. why didnt you just stay awake. why didnt you just pull the all-nighter. the strength of your no-sleep headache threatens to stab through your skull like an ice pick. all you can taste is blood. they are comi
0 hours: THIS ACTUALLY ISNT AS BAD. HAHA I’M NOT EVEN THAT TIRED! WATCH ME DOWN 15 MOUNTAIN DEWS IN 15 MINUTES. I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING IN MY EARS ISNT THAT WEIRD. WHAT DO YOU MEAN MY EYES ARE BLOODSHOT AND I CANT FOCUS, IM COMPLETELY NORMAL RIGHT NOW. GUYS I CAN HEAR COLORS.
Captain America #695 not only lived up to my expectations, it exceeded them, and wow that was a tall order.
I have spent a fair amount of time since July, when the new Waid and Samnee run was announced, worrying if I should dial back my excitement. Because a lot of times when you build something up in your head that makes it all the easier for that thing to disappoint you. Before we found out Nick Spencer was the way he was™, I was excited for his run, and, well, we know how that turned out.
But I’ve loved how Waid has wrote Steve in the past and I loved Samnee’s art, and the hydra!Cap storyline was so bad that I honestly felt there was no where to go but up, so I allowed myself to hope that we were in for a real treat.
The hope paid off. I’m so thrilled right now I’m giddy with it.
Mark Waid knows how to write Steve Rogers and Chris Samnee’s art is gorgeous.
We start out ten years ago, when Steve Rogers, newly woken from the ice, saved the town of Burlington, Nebraska from the terrorist organization Rampart.
And now, ten years later, Steve returns, wary and depressed because of the events of Secret Empire. And what he finds there surprises him. He’s not expecting kindness, I mean despite the fact that the entire country saw real!Steve take out hydra!Cap via live feed and despite the fact that Sam Wilson had announced what had happened with the cosmic cube via satellite, this is the country where a fair amount of people believe that the moon landing was filmed in a Hollywood studio, so long story short Steve enters the town as Steve Rogers, not as Captain America.
And what he stumbles into is a festival celebrating Captain America. But before I get into that, Chris Samnee’s art is so fantastic. I love his Steve. Look at him, can’t you just squish him…
Anyway, as I said, Captain America festival, where people are going on a podium talking about how they still believe in Steve (which had to be good for his soul, my word).
That’s not to say this town doesn’t have it’s own conspiracy theories. Waid and Samnee invented a new term, “icer”. This is someone who actually believes that Steve was frozen on the ice and not a new Captain America appointed by the government just when the Avengers needed him most. 😉
Anyway, this festival is going down and I love the people of this town. They’re awesome…
Then Rampart attacks, again, because every party has a pooper, and Steve is forced to reveal himself. He saves the town, again, because that’s what he does.
But when the town calls him a hero he deflects and points out all the heroes in the crowd who moved to protect and assist those hurt when Rampart attacked.
(…he admits he gets flustered and self-conscious at attention. Oh my Steve. It’s you, you’re really back. I’ve missed you so much buddy!)
He also meets a grown up Donna, whom he had inspired, and solutes her.
This is Captain America. Defender of little guy. Someone who inspires others to do the same. Waid and Samnee get it.
This issue is 100/10, would recommend. Cap fans, you’re going to love it.
i love the fact that like… if you wanted to you could throw a chair… stool…. lamp… medium sized houseplant… even a lightweight table…. theres nothing physically stopping you from throwing furniture around, only social constructs and your own cowardice.
i had no desire to act on this post until the last word. the fact that OP called me a coward has given me a huge desire to go ape shit in my room and throw my computer chair at the wall
My current job has me working with children, which is kind of a weird shock after years in environments where a “young” patient is 40 years old. Here’s my impressions so far:
Birth – 1 year: Essentially a small cute animal. Handle accordingly; gently and affectionately, but relying heavily on the caregivers and with no real expectation of cooperation.
Age 1 – 2: Hates you. Hates you so much. You can smile, you can coo, you can attempt to soothe; they hate you anyway, because you’re a stranger and you’re scary and you’re touching them. There’s no winning this so just get it over with as quickly and non-traumatically as possible.
Age 3 – 5: Nervous around medical things, but possible to soothe. Easily upset, but also easily distracted from the thing that upset them. Smartphone cartoons and “who wants a sticker?!!?!?” are key management techniques.
Age 6 – 10: Really cool, actually. I did not realize kids were this cool. Around this age they tend to be fairly outgoing, and super curious and eager to learn. Absolutely do not babytalk; instead, flatter them with how grown-up they are, teach them some Fun Gross Medical Facts, and introduce potentially frightening experiences with “hey, you want to see something really cool?”
Age 11 – 14: Extremely variable. Can be very childish or very mature, or rapidly switch from one mode to the other. At this point you can almost treat them as an adult, just… a really sensitive and unpredictable adult. Do not, under any circumstances, offer stickers. (But they might grab one out of the bin anyway.)
Age 15 – 18: Basically an adult with severely limited life experience. Treat as an adult who needs a little extra education with their care. Keep parents out of the room as much as possible, unless the kid wants them there. At this point you can go ahead and offer stickers again, because they’ll probably think it’s funny. And they’ll want one. Deep down, everyone wants a sticker.
This is also a pretty excellent guide to writing kids of various ages
this is from the wikipedia page for hades and have no idea if it’s true or not but i really hope it is because there are few things funnier to me than the idea of hades in the underworld banging on the ceiling with a broomstick because the mortals upstairs are slapping the earth at 3 am to get his attention
5 or so people have tagged this with ‘1-800-ARE YOU SLAPPING’ and i’d just like to say y’all are people after my own heart
I May or May Not be Steve Rogers 