zamaron:

Kurt, I took what you said to heart and I thought long and hard about it, and it occurred to me that you may have a point. Okay, maybe Brittany and I are too young to get married. I mean, after all, that’s why it didn’t work out with you and Blaine, right? Or maybe it didn’t work out because you are a judgmental little gerontophile with a mouth like a cat’s ass. Maybe Blaine got tired of hearing a shrill, self-aggrandizing lecture about how you felt the two of you were at the very apex of the gay right’s movement every time you so much as cooked macaroni and cheese together, or farted. Maybe Blaine didn’t wanna be with someone who looks like they just removed their top row of dentures every time they smiled, or someone who doesn’t dress like an extra out of one of Andy Dick’s more elaborate wet dreams. Maybe Blaine grew weary of dating a breathier, more feminine Quinn Fabray. Maybe he finally got freaked out by your strange obsession with old people that causes you to skulk around nursing homes like one of those cats that can smell cancer. Maybe he got tired of watching you drape yourself on every piano you happen pass to entertain exactly no one with, say some song Judy Garland choked on her tongue in the middle of, or some sassy, old Broadway standard made famous by another dead, alcoholic crone. Maybe Blaine woke up some day and said ‘You know what? I don’t wanna marry a sexless, self-centered baton twirler. Maybe I need someone who knows more than three dance moves: the finger wag, the shoulder shimmy, and the one where you pretend to twirl to invisible rainbow colored ribbons attached to your hips.’ So you know what? Maybe that’s why it didn’t work out. Maybe it has nothing to do with me and Brittany. Maybe it’s just that you are utterly, utterly intolerable. Maybe that has something to do with it