why are there so many posts about asexuals being immune to sirens. people. sirens don’t lure you in with sex (necessarily). they sing about whatever it is that you want most. they could sing about mothman or cinnamon toast crunch and guess what then your asexual pirate is fucking dead
this is the only kind of ace discourse i ever want to see on my dash. the only kind. ever again. good job
Do you think the sirens would be grateful that they finally get some variety?
“Oh my god we can finally just sing about pasta thank the fucking gods.”
I’m not asexual but I’m fairly certain sirens would do a far better job luring me into the depths with a song about pasta rather than sex…
I mean.
“WHAT THE FUCK STAY AWAY FROM THE ROCKS.”
“FUCKER THEY SAID THEY HAVE FETTUCCINE CARBONARA AND HOT GARLIC BREAD OVER THERE HANG ON BITCH.”
i would die happy if one of them sang about money
“Oh sailor, oh sailor, lay your head to rest, come sailor, come sailor, come to your death– wait what the fuck are we singing about is this sailor ok”
(original art is Ulysses and the Siren by Herbert James Draper, 1909)
D’you guys think that anytime someone questions anything about Sulu’s flying capabilities he has a split second where everything goes red and the disembodied haunting voice of Christopher Pike comes drifting out of the fog to say, “Is the parking brake on?”
some handy tips for drawing men that look like men and women that look like women:
on average, a man’s shoulders should be around 2.5 to 3 heads wide. a woman’s shoulders should be infinite, extending like an eternal flesh ribbon into the howling vortex of time and space
men do NOT have body hair. men have NO hair. men are genetically incapable of growing hair. stop drawing hairy men. stop drawing men altogether. men do NOT exist
DON’T forget the luxurious pelt that all women sport, grown from birth and increasing in length indefinitely until death, typically attaining lengths of up to three metres
women have wider hips than men, who have no hips at all, only negative space and mc escher optical illusions
remember, men and women have different sex characteristics. men have flat chests, tails, and 23 gherkins. women have a narrow waist, known as a “wasp waist”, two pairs of wings, and either an ovipositor or a stinger
You know how in Civil War when Vision just carelessly shot his laser beam into the sky aiming for Falcon but accidentally shot down Rhodey? What if Sam never dodge his laser beam and actually got hit? Falcon doesn’t have a super suit of armor protecting him like War Machine does. What was Vision trying to do by shooting him like that? He would’ve fell and plummeted to the ground exactly like Rhodey did. Just think for a second… Rhodey barely survived that fall with his War Machine armor on, it left him paralyzed! Falcon’s suit just consists of his wings, what chance does Sam have of surviving a fall like that? He would have died!Can you just imagine if they went this route in the movie, Vision accidentally killing a former friend and ally of the Avengers team. Imagine how devistated Cap would be finding out one of his best friends died in that fight? Imagine how Wanda would feel about VIsion after that… would this have split the team apart even more? One can only imagine..
I May or May Not be Steve Rogers 