Say that at 18 I slap down enough money so I could have my whole body covered head-to-toe in tattoos, piercings all over myself, a mountain of cigarettes, plastic surgery, and plan to have like 20 babies… but if I try at all to safely make it impossible for me to breed for the sake of my health suddenly its like WOAH THERE SLOW DOWN MISSY YOU’RE NOT READY FOR THIS KIND OF COMMITMENT YET
I have stage III Endometriosis, which means I have to get my uterus removed because I literally have terrible cramps ALL THE TIME and not just when I’m on my period. Now, I’ve always said I don’t want any children for personal reasons and I don’t need my uterus, really. I am not worried about that surgery and I don’t feel any kind of nostalgia over an organ I won’t ever use.
The thing is, my doctor is a ‘man’. This ‘man’ told me I had to get pregnant right now before it’s too late. I told him I didn’t want to get pregnant and explained the multiple reasons but what, do you ask, did my doctor have to say about this? ‘Well, better have a kid now because just imagine how depressing it must be being a thirty-something woman without children and a husband?’
I was diagnosed a year ago. I should have gone through surgery six months ago and I still can’t find a doctor that will perform the surgery without trying to force me to have children first. Basically, if you’re a woman you don’t have a say in what can and cannot be done to your body without a shitload of people getting in the way AND I’M FUCKING SICK OF IT.
A dear friend of mine wanted to have her tubes tied. She was about to give birth to twins and the doctors wouldn’t consent because she wasn’t 21 yet. She had already had children and they still refused to let her have the procedure.
My friend got a vasectomy a week after asking his doctor for one, no problem. He was 25.
Me? I’ve asked 4 different doctors for some kind of permanent sterilisation—tubal ligation or Essure or whatever—and I get a pat on the head and a “You’d regret it if you did.”
Oh, DIDN’T REALIZE YOU HAD A DIRECT LINE TO MY BRAIN.
This is horrifying.
Not just your brain, they can predict the future. I mean they’re half gods.
This needs to be talked about. I know a guy who got his vasectomy at 21 after just talking to his doctor once about it. Tons of doctors will not perform sterilization procedures on women REGARDLESS OF AGE unless it is medically necessary. They refuse to believe that a woman could absolutely not want to have children. And refuse them the procedures and the choice if they have ‘healthy’ reproductive systems.
I have a physical disability that would make pregnancy very uncomfortable and painful and difficult for me and when I went to see a specialist to at LEAST get my tubes tied, she kept stressing getting an IUD bc I might change my mind about wanting kids or something. Because that’s what it all comes down to I guess, somehow I can magically change my mind and then it’ll all be okay to carry children (that I actually don’t want in me ever at all no thanx)
Do people forget that adoption is a thing exists???? Seriously???
There’s a serious conversation to be had about people saying that they would (and therefore you should) only want kids that are ‘theirs.’ It’s incredibly bigoted and privileged. To say that you couldn’t love a child unless they came directly out of you is shallow and those kids don’t deserve it. They are, and always have been, more than statistics for you to bring up at a dinner party over a bottle of champagne – “those poor girls in China!, the children of Africa! Oh, but I’d never adopt, myself. I’d prefer /mine./”
Women deserve choice, and kids deserve a chance. Basically fuck this world ok
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I May or May Not be Steve Rogers 